Pamela

The original plan was to observe her for a week... the week has come and gone and with heavy hearts we face what seems to be reality for her young soul. After a few days, seeing how sick she was, it seemed that little Pamela would live only about 3 months...sadly now the 3 months seems to be stretching it. Her head is growing at a extremely rapid rate, growing over 2 centimeters in this one week, a 1/2 a centimeter since only yesterday. Her breathing has become more shallow as the week progressed and she began sleeping more and eating less. This afternoon when I went to rub my fingers across her precious cheek, I felt the fever that had set in. We are now preparing for the fact that our mission here appears to be hospice style care for this precious baby.

With the growing of her head, it is now too dangerous to hold her, too dangerous to move her head. So, now I sit beside her little bed (made of a pillow in a big comfy chair) and simply hold her hands or rub her stomach, just to let her know she's not all alone. Touch is the only form of communication that I have with her, as the hydrocephalus has already taken her sight and hearing. So tonight.. I sit and I pray over her. I pray that the LORD's will be done here. I pray that He would give her peace and take away her pain. I pray that I would never again take my loving family for granted. I pray that God would give me forgiveness in my heart towards her parents, the people that brought her into this world, that were entrusted to care for her.... the people that abandoned this sweet child. I thank God for His sovereignty and I am reminded from my Godly mother that He is her maker. That He knew the number of her days before she even took one breath. He saw how everything would come to be... He saw how my heart would hurt for this little girl, how I would fall in love with her random little gurgles and sounds she makes throughout the day and night. He alone knows what is to come....

~To God Be the Glory!