Christmas Eve Greetings!

Merry Christmas Eve Ya'll!  

Nothing like a Christmas Eve Sleepover in the Ates' (Tagalog for 'Older Sisters') Room! 

~ To God Be the Glory!

My heart aches for big brothers and sisters the will never see their little brother or sister again.

My heart aches for Mommies and Daddies that sent their child to school, never imagining that was the last smile they'd ever see from their baby.

My heart aches for the spouse that said goodbye to their loved one, maybe not saying they loved them, not expecting that would be their last chance to say so.

My heart aches for little best friends, ripped apart my bullets.

Relationships that were meant to last a lifetime, cut short by one man's unspeakable, unfathomable acts.

My heart breaks.  No words.  Only prayers for those hurting loved ones left behind to pick up the pieces.

My prayers are with you CT.

~ To God Be the Glory!

Winning.

You were always the strong one.  Ever since I can remember.  You were a winner.

I remember first hearing about it...it that has become our family's enemy over the years.

I remember not being scared, thinking nothing would ever get you down.   You were a winner.

Over the years the reality slowly set in, as I grew, my mind also grew and started to comprehend; yet still...I knew you would win.

Over the years, through this battle you never gave up.

Always on the golf course.

Always at church.

Always at the airport to welcome me home.

Always there to listen when I shared.

Always there to hug me and let me go again.

I got the call today.

It might not be long.

Your tired.

It's been years of fighting.

But I need you to know something.

You still won.

You still lived your life.

You have and are impacting others.

You loved and are very much loved.

You never gave 'it' the power.

You have won.

I love you.  I will see you soon.

You are tired and that is ok.

You won.



~ To God Be the Glory!

Ransomed...

The smile spreads across my face as we approach the familiar path to her house.  I see the looks from the others.. we're going to see her.  I met her many weeks ago, her husband is sick, and she is also, though her illness is accepted.  After the initial inquiry about her, they sit and discuss the treatment plan for her husband, while me and her sit and talk and giggle like kids in middle of a church service, winning the glances of the others from time to time.

She talks in Tagalog, and I catch words here and there and follow the best I can. She decided after the first week that we would be family.  And just like that...we are.  I pay my respects to her each week, not knowing how much is her and how much is the Alzheimer's. Every week I see and am thankful for that week's smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He spoke to me often, reminiscing of a time when he was stationed in the country I now call home.  Speaking of the weather, the people, the food, the beauty.  It was our common ground, a place that was so unspeakably special to us; it connected us, though we only spoke on my yearly visits.

Then I heard the news, he was in hospital and not doing well.  There was an opportunity to go see him, while there was still time left.  My parents walked in first... then after their initial hellos, I stepped out from behind them.

When he saw me, the tears came to his eyes and his breath caught.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've never seen her, but I consider her a dear friend.  She lives a similar life to me, yet in a country I've never been to.

We were introduced via email through a mutual friend.  Only a few emails went back and forth and we were already dear friends at heart, uniquely understanding each other.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Three different stories, yet a very common situation.  A truth that comes from only God.  The LORD gave me this life, called me and led me every step of the way.  And it is the LORD that is using my ransomed life.

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone

And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You

~ To God Be the Glory! 

Eyes not our own..

A piece of wood is laid out.. a bridge, to allow us to cross yet another area, that is so soppy that a small black pond has started form.  I think I finally have it down, I've been crossing bridges like these, in this community for 3 years now.

"Ate Brittany!!!!" a happy little voice yells and my head goes up and my balance nearly goes with it.  I smile but turn my head back down, and focusing on the task at hand I cross.

Even with the bridges, on the ride home, I look down at my feet and see the mud and muck, the black on my fair skin.  And, in that moment I'm thankful.

I think life can be alot like a walk through my beloved village.  Life can be messy.  It can be full of muck and yucky stuff.  But if you look closely, if you look through eyes not your own, through His eyes, you will see absolute awe-inspiring beauty in the midst of yuck.

Sometimes we come to hard times, when it seems all we want to do is get through, and right when we think we've really lost it and are about to go face first in the muck, sometimes there can be a change.  If we let Him take control, He is faithful to steady us; if we give ourselves and our mindset over to Him and see through His eyes, He is faithful to shift our gaze and refocus our attention on what HE is putting before us.

This world is dark and hard.  If we look through the eyes of this world, through eyes of darkness, how can we expect to see light?

We have to intentionally look through eyes that are not our own natural eyes.

But... when we do... oh the hidden beauty we will see.... the joy we will uncover...

~ To God Be the Glory!

(Thanks to Tasha Danecki Photography for the pics)

Start Praying!

Dear bloggy friends... I need you to all start praying... adoptive parents of Rona called us, Rona (one of our previous treasures) is in the hospital with a virus in her brain. Please join with us, standing in faith, praying in agreement for God to intervene and heal this precious little one.

~ To God Be the Glory! 

What if...?

I am a child.

I thought I grew up and learned my lessons, but I find myself learning anew a lesson I thought I already totally understood.

Let me back up before I get too into this and give you a little recent history.  I was thinking on a matter the other day, and my negative 'realist' thoughts kept coming along about a certain topic I was throwing around in my head.  And suddenly, it was as if the LORD pulled back the curtain to a previously hidden window; allowing light from a new angle to flood into my thought perspective.  What if...?

... (Now... put that story on the back burner and fast forward a few days to when the setting for the majority of this post deals with.)

I've written and spoken countless times about this life of sacrifice I've been called to.   I understood it.  I willingly answered the call upon my life and gave it all to follow Him, to where He called me.  All.  I knew it would involve sacrifice.  I gave it all.  Has the term sacrifice and giving it all been several times redefined with a deeper and more overwhelming meaning each time? Yes.  Was this call much more than I expected? Oh my Yes.  Am I still certain of this calling upon my life? You betcha... Yes. Am I still thankful for this calling upon my life? Yes.

I've written and spoken countless times about the pain and the heart ache of this life.  Seeing life and death on a daily basis.  Living raw.  Living at my 'limit' everyday, being on my personal 'edge' always. Seeing the true hell on earth.  Knowing the evils of this world and seeing their effect in the eyes of those I love.  Being so overwhelmed that there are some days in which parts of me emotionally shut off.

I've written and spoken countless time of the joy and blessings in the midst of all this still.  The blessing of seeing the LORD heal those I love.  The joy of seeing Him relieve those I love of their horrendous earthly suffering, and knowing they are in paradise with Him.  I've written of the joys of seeing children  restored, and successfully united with their families, their own happy endings.

I've written and spoken countless times about a song...Jesus Loves Me.  I've sang it a hundred times. This song hit me hard with my dear Pamela and sweet Jellyn, as I sang it to them daily, nightly, sometimes hourly.  I sang it to teach them the song that Jesus loved THEM.

I've rejoiced over the love my God has.. for them.  

That was always enough for me. 

I knew my life was meant for sacrifice.  I had been blessed with such a wonderful and full of love beginning in life, that now it was my time to show that love to others and tell them that Jesus loved them.  

I was taught and knew from an early age that Jesus loved us, loved me, loved everyone. 

I knew it.  But... I didn't.

And the beautiful amazing wonderful thing about having a Father that loves you is...He wants you to know... to really know and realize that He truly does love you. 

After hearing this song several times... the words began to break open parts of me.  

Part of the lyrics goes:

 I realize just how beautiful You are

And, I remember the first time I really really listened to the lyrics I thought.. Oh yes, how many times have I just been left speechless at You LORD, left in awe of Your Great Name! ... and then the song continues:

And how great Your affections are for me. 

... 

To be quite honest.. even my mind is left speechless when I hear those words.  Even now, trying to convey these emotions that the meaning behind those lyrics produces within me... words are inadequate.  There is no justice in words and syllables to explain the blinding, take-my-breath-away, unable to move, captivated yet totally lacking sense of attempting comprehension that is happening deep within my being.  

Because... it's not just the words.  It's so much more than one man's gifted and talented lyrical ability... it's because... I hear that gentle whisper within me..It's true.  I love you.  I.  LOVE.  YOU. 

He really does love me!  

I never doubted God's love for those that I work with.  I told them of God's love for them with conviction.  I knew God loved them.  I really knew of His love for them.  

And I thought I knew of His love for me...but my understanding was flawed.  I viewed it almost like I view my love for the one girl in my classes that is my friend.  I love her, she is precious.  Out of the whole class, she is one of the very view that has risked getting to know me, risked helping me when I needed it, risked ridicule from the other classmates at helping 'the white girl'.  She had sacrificed herself for me and because of that we had a friendship, and we sat together in class sometimes and occasionally texted.  While my friendship with this girl is so precious to me...there is NO COMPARISON to the love the Father has for His children, which by His grace and sovereignty I am blessed beyond measure to be counted among. 

I had always been taught that God was a God that loved us, but also that disciplined us, constantly refining us and molding us.  While that is COMPLETELY TRUE... my perspective was way out of focus.  I saw God as 'molding me and teaching me' only... using only heartache and pain and tears for me personally.  I saw every stage in life, with its pain and bittersweet moments as tools that we was using to mold me and train me for the future, ... a life full of sacrifice, which in my skewed perspective equalled more pain.  I imagined myself laid out in preparation for the slaughter, giving my life so that souls might be won for Him... but He stops the arm that coming down on me, just like the angel of the Lord stopped Abraham's arm when it was about to come down on Isaac.  The arm is stopped and instead of pain, I'm starting to realize that I've not been slaughtered, I've been rescued.  I've been scooped up into the arm of my Father, held by the body that was already broken for me and all of His children. 

I previously thought God had a tolerating and saving emotion toward me, but 'love' is so much more than that. He has affection for me.  He WANTS me.  

To revisit the opening scenario... the flow of new thought perspective continued: 

What if... God really loves me? 

What if... He is with me through all of this?

What if... instead of waiting to teach me another lesson through another let down, broken and shattered heart...what if He's on my side through it all?  Carrying me every step?

And now... now I see Him taking what He taught me last year and taking it deeper, taking me deeper, drawing me closer to Him.  He's taking lessons that I thought I knew and making them clearer, more real to me.. because He loves me enough to make me understand.  

And you know what else.. He loves you just as much!

~ To God Be the Glory!