Lessons about myself... and life.

Often times things happen and I adapt and persevere simply to get through them... but I often don't take the time to sit and think.. God what are you teaching me out of this? What do I take from this? Is there something I need to change??

So here I am... looking back on myself... trying to .... actually I don't really know what I'm trying to do... but these are the lessons I'm learning about myself and some of the unique lessons God is teaching me in current environment.

~ I am convinced that I am the most selfish person on the planet.

~ My emotions come in 2's now adays...Happy.. I'm giddy, open...Saddness.. I close up, I build my walls up, I get mad and I get closed quick.

~ I'm trying desperately to understand the ways of God in my life .. but to no avail.

~ I've already been given life, to ask for anything more for myself is selfishness.

~ I stretch the truth/fib on a daily basis... the How are you? question is almost always grounds for an easy and simple "ok"... simple is a hard concept for me to grasp these days.

~ My ministry to children, I believe benefits me more than them on most days.

~ 1/2 the people I meet.. I'm scared to death of them getting the wrong impression of me. The other 1/2.. I truly don't care... there's not much in between.

~ Folding and putting away the laundry of my toddlers is one of the most gratifying jobs there is.

~ My greatest heros are the missionaries from ages past, the ones that travelled to the unknown to live, without first trying it out, visiting and without the safety net/comfort of fbook connecting them to the familiar. I'm not worthy to be considered in the same category as them.

~ I'm a person that God has called to missions... though I don't actually like people in general. I don't know how to act around people. Give me the close circle of people I trust, and that's all... meeting new people is actually scary for me.

~ I break all the molds that I was taught... I love skirts and ball shorts. I like colors and I love black. I like looking fashionable, but I will intentionally not buy something if everyone has it. I feel old-fashioned and edgy at the same time. I love sparkly shiny things, and I love bumming around the house in ball shorts and ponytail. I have attitude but am extremely submissive.

~ If I don't keep myself in check... I am the most horrendously jealous person on earth.

~ Never underestimate the power of a simple hug to turn around someones day / week / month.

~ Always remove rings before holding the hand of a woman in labor.

~ Blogging is very complex for me, I try to tell my story, but at the same time, letting people in and letting people see scares me some, not in a physical sense at all, but on an emotional insecurity level.

~ A toddler's biggest weapon, when out in public, is the word "CR" (meaning, .. they have to use the restroom).

~ For children and children only, I can pretty much lose all dignity and am a complete clown.

~ Sunshine is therapeutic.

~ Once my mind is made up or once God reveals the next step of His plan.. patience is no longer my friend. I want to move and go for it!

~ Memories and pictures are a great comfort to me.

~ A recent visitor made me aware of just how often I 'space out' and escape into my head...an obvious return of childhood ADD.

~ I'm left speechless when I think how my life has changed in just a few years.

I'll keep adding to it over time, so check back.

~ To God Be the Glory!