Monday, May 28, 2012

A couple weeks ago, I got up, and acted like it was any other day.  I intentionally kept myself busy during the day, and then that night, went out to a movie with Jordan...I intentionally acted as if it was not Mother's Day.  Because I didn't want to dwell any more than normal on not being with my mother on yet another special day, and I didn't want to think about how much longer it would be till I saw her again.. so I just didn't.  Mother's Day just didn't really happen in my mind. (Of course I still wished her Happy Mother's Day on fbook... I'm not that horrible of a daughter ya'll.  :) ).

Another reason I didn't want to dwell on the fact that it was mother's day, was because I knew that soon enough I'd be in the position I'm in tonight.... dwelling on the fact that in a few more sleeps, I'll be on my way to pick up my mother!  (And that my dear friends has me just about over the moon excited!!! )

And I realize... that's why I'm here.

Because I know how it feels to have someone in my corner constantly who loves me unconditionally.  My family has been the utter example of unconditional love... and it is all because Christ first loved them and first showed them what love is.

And that's why I'm here, because I know that feeling because since I was little I was shown that love by my family before I could understand the love that I now know from my Heavenly Father.

And that's my mission, to be His hands and SHOW what that unconditional love is, so that one day they can understand a much greater mightier love from the One, the One who is the only thing that matter in this world, the One that saved my soul from death, the One that whispered that His mission for my life was to go.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Beautiful Tiny Heart

They are playing around, rough-housing before bed, which they know is not allowed.. they are supposed to be laying down quietly.  Innocent fun and giggles end with tears when one gets hurt and begins to cry. The little boy that is now crying is 4 almost 5 and is one of the biggest kids I take care of.  The other.. a tiny petite 2 year old little girl, the smallest of the group.  I tell the boy he's ok, as he surely is, and to lay down, as he was supposed to already be doing, and try to sleep.  I'm doing other things, settling everyone in for the night, fixing their blankets the way each one likes it, minutes pass when the little girl comes to me.  Her big bright eyes full of concern... 'Sabiko si M 'Sorry'! Sabiko si M 'Sorry'!''  ("I'm going to tell him sorry! I'm going to tell M sorry!'')  I had already moved on, M had already stopped crying and was clearly moving on, but this little one, was still carrying the burden of the fact that her friend had been in pain and that it was her fault.  I smiled and told her that would be an excellent idea, and she goes to him and lays on top of him saying sorry and giving him a hug and in that moment I stop and I just smile.

She's beautiful.

Her heart is beautiful, full of love and compassion at such a young age.  I dream of what the Lord has in store for her... Where will he take her?  What will He mold her into?  How will He use her?

Oh, how He is already using her to teach me!

May I be ever mindful of my impact on others.  May I be filled with compassion for those around me as she is.

~ To God Be the Glory!