Dear Pamela

Some Time Wednesday Night/Thursday Morning:
I hear a noise again... I jerk up straight and look...everything is ok...what time is it?? Is it 3 am yet?? Ok... all quiet again.. I can lay back down. 20 minutes later or so and another sound.. just a soft gurgle this time... I'm up just the same. Beside me lies a 2-month old baby girl with severe hydrocephalus, fluid on the brain, causing her head to swell. Her swollen head is so soft that its difficult to hold her. The swelling also makes it difficult for her to turn her head... which is why another 30 minutes, I'll be sitting up again and looking into the crib next to my temporary roll-away bed. She's prone to spitting up... and with her lying on her back, I'm constantly listening for her to spit up, so that she doesn't choke in the middle of the night. This little disproportionate baby is called Pamela.

We went and picked up Pamela Tuesday afternoon after being contacted by the hospital where she was at. Her parents abandoned her, leaving her at the hospital. The hospital didn't want her either, they kept her drugged on unnecessary meds to keep her quiet and not crying. She is abandoned and unwanted....we will take her.

In the few days we have had her, her head already grown a centimeter in two days. We have watched and will continue to observe. It appears that the pressure from all the fluid has already affected her vision and hearing, as it appears she is deaf and blind.

So where do we go from here? We will continue to observe and wait and see what the LORD has in store for this little girl. In the States, she would be moved to surgery and the fluid would be drained...but here its a little more difficult than that. She is unwanted and there is something wrong with her... so she is considered worthless. It would take so long to line up a surgery for an orphan, that by that time it might possibly be too late. Also, even if surgery is scheduled, there is a high risk of infection in these cases.

So...right now... I'm not sure what the next step for little Pamela is going to be. There are so many things we still don't know about this little girl. We just have to wait for the LORD to reveal His plan, one step at a time. She seems comfortable and appears surprisingly in no pain.

So for now... I will continue to watch over her during the night, sleeping in the ICU room with her, and afternnoon school (as I have become school teacher for 2 boys since I've been here) has been moved to the ICU. We will continue offer her love and stimulation for possibly the first time in her life.... the rest is up to God.

Lord wrap your arms around this small baby. The world has said she is of no worth, but we know better. We know that You created her. You formed her in her mother's womb. You knew all the struggles she would face, this was no surprise to You. We give her up to You Lord, wrap your arms around her and may Your will be done! Amen.

Oh... dear Pamela....