Tonight I rocked her to sleep, held her safe in my arms till her eyes finally closed.
Do all of the kids get this? No, with so many kids, there's no way for all to be rocked to sleep.
Does this happen every night? No
But tonight is not every night. Today was not every day.
It's hard to lose your best friend. Today was the first day without her A. She truly was J's A. They were a pair, belonging to each other. Never far from each other, knowing each other inside and out, knowing the other's thoughts. They arrived within weeks of each other, both tiny, frail and starved of life... and they healed and became whole again..together. They found new life together and learned to live together. They were always always together. Even the little things, like potty training and learning to walk... they did together. They were each other's constant.
As any best friend, she rejoiced with A yesterday playing with A's mommy and daddy. But now... the time of rejoicing with her friend is gone, as is her best friend of the last 2 1/2 years. Today I hear her mumbled words, telling me she misses her A. She's said goodbye to many friends over the last years, but this was not just any friend, this was her best friend, her other half.
While we rejoice with A and her beautiful and simply wonderful family, tonight we remember, tonight we hold each other because tonight both of our hearts are aching.
Tonight is not every night.
Tonight we hold dear the memories in our hearts:
4 comments:
I'm so thankful she has you to comfort her and hold her. It makes her sad, frustrating, difficult times a little easier for her to handle. I'll remember her specifically in my prayers - love you Brit!
Much Love,
Mindy
I'm sad and happy reading this blog. I remember riding home with J on the day we picked her up. Her eyes will always haunt me. Both girls looked as if their little legs would never be strong enough to hold them. I am so thankful for a family for A. I pray for one for J as well. Praise God for all he has done in both girls lives. Praying for you both as I know you will miss her as well.
i know it's hard. just plain hard. this is a tough road...to love, to bond, to let go, to grieve. even the children have to do it. only a God who did the same for us can understand it all. hold on tight...
Oh, my. This is tough to read and realize how it is for those left behind. I have tears.
Would you be willing to let us feature this post with our readers on "We Are Grafted In" (www.wearegraftedin.com)? It is a Christian adoption website/forum. We'd love for our readers to hear what you have to share in this post. Feel free to contact me with questions, but I would just need a brief bio and a pic to use when it is featured so we can direct our readers back to your blog.
Stephanie
co-administrator of WAGI
smurphy 28 AT juno DOT com
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